


The Moment I Knew

by okaybrianmay



Category: Freddie Mercury - Fandom, Jim Hutton - Fandom, Jimercury - Fandom, Queen (Band)
Genre: Birthday, Freddie starts fights, Jim ends them, M/M, argument, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-09-02 13:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16787773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaybrianmay/pseuds/okaybrianmay
Summary: Jim and Freddie have an argument, resulting in Jim leaving Freddie to his own devices on the most hurtful of all days.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There might be a part two to this. Maybe. I don't know yet. (the second part would have a mature rating if in fact there I decide to write a part two.)

“Well,” Freddie paused with a sharp intake of breath, “this time I meant it. I want you out.”

Jim tilted his head to the side as he crossed his arms loosely over his broad chest. He felt a little guilty because, in all truthfulness, the fight had resulted because of his own doing. However, he felt that he had every right to voice his opinion whether Freddie liked what he had to say or not, “Don’t be that way, Fred,” he sighed as he looked away from his lover, “you know you don’t mean that.”

“I do.” Freddie had taken a step closer to Jim, his commanding presence forcing Jim to look at him again. His eyes were bright and clear, despite the obvious pain within them. 

It hurt Jim severely to see him so conflicted, “Freddie,” Jim’s voice sounded strained to his own ears, “You know I don’t take well to your grand parties. It’s all fun for a while…but it always goes too far. I know you must know it too.”

Freddie turned his face away from him and rubbed a hand over his mouth, Jim noting the irritated gesture, “I had no idea you were so disapproving of a little fun,” he said, “if that’s truly the way you feel about me then you really do need to get out.”

Jim’s eyes narrowed slightly, “I never said I had anything against you,” he huffed, “now, I mean it Freddie. Do not put words in my mouth. I was fine with a party. Just not this kind of party.”

Freddie took several steps back as if he’d just taken a blow to the chest, “Surely you know you’re no one to judge, darling.”

“What exactly are you implying?” Jim’s nostrils flared with anger as he glared at Freddie, the other refusing to answer his question, “whatever. I’ll get my things. I can’t stay here with you when you’re like this. What I can’t take with me tonight I’ll send for tomorrow. Goodbye, Freddie.”

Jim brushed past Freddie as he strode to the grand staircase and made his way to the bedroom they shared to collect his things. He tended to walk quicker when he was angry and when he got to the room he slammed the door after him. 

He went to the closet first and started pulling out several changes of clothes. He flung them onto the bed before rifling through the closet again, bringing from its depths a single suitcase. He was breathing hard by the end of all of this and he slowed his pace to give his lungs a chance to catch up. 

Jim couldn’t recall the last time he’d been this angry with Freddie. He was used to their fights by now but he had never really let it get to him. Not like he had this time. Jim shook his head, scoffing to himself as he shoved each article of clothing into the open suitcase, not bothering to fold anything. He then made his way to the large bathroom across the hall to retrieve a few essentials. 

As he was exiting the bathroom, he found Freddie walking slowly down the hallway with his robe tied tightly around himself. Jim didn’t even acknowledge his presence as he re-entered the bedroom to finish packing. Freddie halted in the doorway of their room and leaned on the threshold, watching Jim who had his backside to the singer. 

“Darling?” Freddie’s soft voice rang out, piercing through the silence, “let’s put this behind us. You don’t have to get out.”

For several seconds, Jim acted as if Freddie hadn’t even spoken before he spun around on his heel, “I’m leaving, Fred,” the look of absolute panic on Freddie’s face made Jim give pause before he quickly finished his sentence, “for the night. I think we’d do well to be apart from each other for a time.”

Jim closed up the suitcase and took it by the handle. As he approached the doorway, Freddie moved back enough to allow him through, “what about the party? You’re not coming?”

Jim stopped, giving Freddie a look that only the two understood the meaning behind, “no, Freddie.” He left the room, walking down the hall and exited the house. 

***

He should’ve been there. As Freddie walked through the sea of guests crowding his beloved home, everything seemed to pass by in slow motion. His shoulders brushed against other partygoers’ as he made his way through the mass of people. He couldn’t stop himself; his eyes scanned the crowd for any sign of Jim. His partner’s words still rang in his ears and it was all Freddie could do to not go insane due to the harsh reality of it all. 

He was always a bit harder on Jim than he meant to be. He only had so many uncertainties. Ones he could never voice to Jim himself. Or at least he thought he couldn’t. 

Freddie forced a smile and belted laughter as he paced throughout the building, but he was too lost in his own thoughts to do much more than simply laugh and give short responses to those who insisted upon talking to him for any length of time. 

It was as if he hadn’t believed Jim was being serious about not coming to the party. He and Jim fought sometimes but the two never let it cause a rift between them like this. Maybe this had been building for quite some time? Or had Jim simply gotten so swept up in the argument that he’d forgotten the day? After all, Freddie had no real concept of Jim’s exact feelings about him. Perhaps he was right to kick him out. He had to be so terribly careful… But no. No, he knew him. He knew Jim. Jim wasn’t after anything more than Freddie’s heart. Freddie so desperately wanted to be loved and Jim wanted to love him. 

Freddie was so lost in his thoughts that he nearly crashed right into Brian who had come up to him in the parlor, “there you are, Fred!” Brian gave him a friendly clap on the shoulder, “me and Rog have been looking all over for you.”

Freddie forced a smile and he was almost sure Brian hadn’t noticed but the guitarist leaned in and whispered, “everything alright, Fred?” he asked, “where’s Jim?”

Freddie shook his head slightly as the loud bass beat pounded, shaking the chandeliers, “He…couldn’t make it tonight,” he croaked, quickly changing the subject, “where’s Roger and John?”

“Through there,” Brian pointed down to the far side of the room, indicating through a doorway, “we were just about to do the cake.”

Freddie’s expression was unreadable as he gazed at Brian like he hadn’t heard the words. He glanced over Brian’s shoulder at the door as if he expected Jim to come through it any moment. 

Brian followed his friend’s gaze, “that is…unless you’d like to wait a while longer?”

Freddie jolted back to reality and stared into Brian’s eyes for a few seconds as he thought about it. With one last glance at the door, he turned back to Brian with a wide grin on his face, “alright,” he said, “let’s do it. I’m ready.”

“You sure?” Brian made doubly sure that Freddie hadn’t wanted to wait for Jim, but once he had gotten Freddie to reconfirm, he led his friend into the large dining area where both John and Roger were waiting beside one of the largest cakes anyone could’ve ever imagined. 

Freddie was physically there but he felt like a bystander as the party seemed to halt momentarily and, all around him, the crowd burst into song and the words ‘happy birthday’ filled the air. 

***

It had taken hours for the crowd to thin and eventually the party had fizzled out by late morning. Brian, Roger and John had been among the last to leave. Brian had been slightly reluctant to leave at first, but Freddie assured them he needed to get some rest. It had been a long night for all of them. 

None of them knew the full story of why Jim hadn’t been there. They’d initially tried to get it out of him but it had only seemed to upset the singer, so they’d dropped it in favor of enjoying the party. 

After they’d gone, Freddie had draped himself across the piano bench, hunched over the keys as he found himself alone yet again. He had no desire to play the instrument now. He’d drunk so much liquor that his vision was beginning to fail and his face was red and flushed. Perhaps it was the alcohol in his system or even possibly the stifling emotions swirling in his mind that made him deaf to the sound of someone approaching from behind.

A warm hand rested on his shoulder and he jumped, jerking himself around to face none other than Jim Hutton himself. Freddie’s wide, dark eyes only seemed to widen more as he gazed at the man before him. Freddie hauled himself to his feet and Jim took a step back to allow him space. Freddie wanted to scream at him. He wanted to shout at him for missing his birthday party and for just everything. He opened his mouth but the words never came. Jim beat him to it. 

“Freddie,” he began, “I am so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t make it.” Jim’s brown eyes shone with fresh tears, but he never let them fall. 

Freddie just stared at him for what felt like a lifetime until he was bold enough to speak, “I’m sorry too.”

Jim didn’t care if Freddie scolded him for it; he brought the singer into a fierce hug. Freddie hugged him back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim wishes to right his wrongs with Freddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been too long since I wrote the first chapter of this! Finally happy to say I've written a part two for you all :) I'm terribly sorry it isn't that good. I haven't written a lot recently so my writing is not what it should be. Anyway, please enjoy.

It felt like there was a vice around Jim’s throat that tightened and dug into his skin with each breath he took. He willed himself not to cry. Not now. He knew in the back of his mind how much it would bother Freddie if he did. Besides, the damage had been done, he reasoned, and the tears would just be pointless now. Jim was questioning every decision he had made that day as well as regretting them. He had left Freddie on his birthday. He’d actually left him. He had been so angry with his lover that he hadn’t even remembered the day. How could he have forgotten? How could he? How dare he…

The press of Freddie’s warm lips against his startled Jim out of his thoughts. Before he had arrived back at their shared home, Jim had prepared himself for Freddie to be even more pissed at him than before. That was why the sudden change in Freddie’s demeanor made him feel slightly uneasy. Was Freddie playing with him? Luring him into a false sense of security just to hurt him like he’d been hurt. As much of an unconventional love the two of them shared, Jim had never known Freddie to actually try to cause him intentional emotional anguish or grief. But there was a first for everything, Jim supposed…

“It’s alright, darling,” the singer breathed out against Jim’s lips, “you can trust me.” 

Jim’s heart beat a little faster as he looked at Freddie. Somehow Freddie always seemed to know his thoughts without Jim ever having to speak them aloud. As much as Freddie would prove this, it still always caught Jim off-guard. 

Freddie gave Jim a little smile then lifted his hand and placed it over Jim’s heart. Jim took a deep breath, knowing Freddie could feel how much his heart was racing. 

“Jim, my darling, your heart might as well beat right out of your chest,” Freddie gave him a look that Jim could only identify as genuine concern, “would you like to sit down?”

Jim licked his dry lips and croaked out, “no, Fred. I’m fine. Just fine.”

Freddie gave a simple shrug and took his hand away from Jim’s chest and as he did so, Jim’s arms came up and wrapped around Freddie’s shoulders. Jim noted how the singer slumped against him, seeking comfort from the one person he loved most in the world. Jim kissed the tip of Freddie’s nose and watched how he smiled at the sweetness of the gesture. 

Freddie craned his neck back and leaned up to kiss Jim again, this time with his lover’s arms around him. Jim kissed him back, need masked by the sadness he still felt in the bottom of his heart. The two kissed again before Freddie began to wiggle in Jim’s arms. Jim quickly got the hint and released him; when Freddie looked into his eyes the usual playfulness was gone. 

“Are you certain you wouldn’t like to sit down?”

“I told you, Freddie. I’m fine.”

There was a slight gleam in Freddie’s eyes as he stared back at his lover, “very well,” he said before sinking to his knees, grabbing Jim’s hips to steady himself. 

“Freddie!” Jim gasped out in complete and utter shock at the sudden turn of events. He tried to take a step back, but Freddie’s hold on him made his knees weak. 

“What is it, love?” Freddie looked up at Jim as if he was unaware of the situation being anything out of the ordinary, “I want to put you at ease.”

Jim let out a shaky breath, “while I appreciate your offer, Fred, I am the one who should be making it up to you.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Freddie’s lips, “what are you saying?” 

“I’m saying stand up.”

Freddie hesitated for a moment before he did what Jim wanted and stood up again, “well, you’ve gotten what you wanted. Go ahead and make it up to me then, darling.”

Freddie’s gentle taunts didn’t affect Jim. He took the singer by his arm and led him out of their living room, “not here,” he said simply as he brought Freddie over to the stairs and the two climbed them quickly and headed to their shared bedroom down the hall. 

Jim opened the bedroom door and Freddie entered first. As Jim closed the door behind himself with a soft click, his eyes followed Freddie’s silhouette as it drifted across the room and stopped beside the bed. It was well past midnight now and the only light in the room came from the hall light shining through the crack under the door. 

It took Jim a moment to realize Freddie was waiting on him, needing further instruction to know how to go on. Jim’s voice came out huskier than he was expecting when he spoke out in the dark, “take your clothes off, Freddie. And wait for me on the bed.”

Jim half expected Freddie to make some sort of jest at the way he was talking. He wasn’t used to this. Freddie almost always took charge of this kind of thing. Jim didn’t like to admit it but Freddie had much more experience in the area than he had. But Freddie made no joke. All Jim could hear was the soft rustle of clothing as Freddie was clearly undressing like he’d been asked. 

Jim took the opportunity to kick off his shoes but left the rest of his clothing on. He’d chosen for this night to be about Freddie. It was then that he realized that he wasn’t doing it out of obligation, but out of his own desire. He wanted to please Freddie. Jim crossed the room to the spot beside the bed that Freddie just recently had occupied. He was lying on the bed now and in the darkness Jim could just make out Freddie’s eyes on him. 

The mattress dipped slightly under Jim’s weight as he sank onto the bed and crawled over between Freddie’s legs. Freddie didn’t say a word as he watched his lover do this. Perhaps it was the darkness and inability to see clearly that added to the suspense that when Jim finally touched him, Freddie’s head fell back against his pillow and a soft noise escaped him. 

Jim’s large warm hands caressed up and down Freddie’s thighs, squeezing the soft flesh and raising goosebumps on the man’s legs at every spot he touched. Jim was fascinated by this reaction. The effect he was clearly having on his lover emboldened him and he bent his head, placing a gentle kiss on the inside of Freddie’s thigh. He heard Freddie gasp and swore he heard the man above him moan his name.

Jim was surprised. By now he was used to how vocal Freddie could be in bed, but it never happened this fast. It was like Freddie’s skin was on fire; Jim noticed he was hot to the touch. Jim was blushing furiously in the dark. He hadn’t even done anything yet. 

He decided he’d best stop teasing him, unless he really wanted to hear about it later. He pressed kisses up the insides of both of Freddie’s thighs and listened with heightened interest as Freddie tensed and moaned out, “God, Jim, i-if you don’t do something…”

That was when Jim placed a final kiss at the base of Freddie’s erection. The singer squeaked and his fingers flexed, tightening their solid grip on the sheets, “Jim.” Freddie hotly whispered his lover’s name which only spurred Jim’s confidence even further. 

He flattened his tongue and licked a wide stripe from base to tip of Freddie’s cock. Freddie sighed and fought back a needy whimper. He was determined to let Jim go at his own pace. But that didn’t mean he didn’t wish and hope and pray that Jim would just speed the fuck up and give him what he needed already. He wasn’t nearly prepared enough for what Jim did next. 

Jim’s lips wrapped around Freddie’s tip and sucked lightly, tasting bitter precum on his tongue. Freddie shivered and moaned, arching his back ever so slightly. His fingers itched to dig into Jim’s hair and hold him in place. But he wouldn’t dare. Not yet. Not unless Jim wanted him to. 

He gasped when he felt Jim beginning to take him deeper into his mouth. As lively as the two’s sex life was, Jim hardly ever sucked him off. Freddie was usually the one to do such things for Jim. The was no real reason behind it. It was simply just in the two’s interactions with each other that it happened to be that way. That was why Freddie was more appreciative when Jim did reciprocate. Everything Jim did for Freddie was out of love. He wanted to be the one who built Freddie up. He wanted to give Freddie the confidence everyone so deeply desired and needed from others they cared about. He always did everything he could think of to make Freddie the center of his world. 

Freddie cried out when Jim took him a little deeper and couldn’t help himself from dragging his nails down Jim’s back, “Jim! Please, love…” he practically squealed when one of Jim’s large hands wrapped around his hip to keep him from moving so much. 

Jim’s eyes were watering when he felt Freddie’s cock at the back of his throat. He prayed his gag reflex wouldn’t kick in. He hadn’t much practice with this… 

His tongue teased the underside of Freddie’s hard cock as his cheeks hollowed out and he forced himself to focus on the sounds Freddie was making. Freddie’s eyes were closed, lips parted as he heatedly whispered soft praises and curses under his breath. The way he pulsed in Jim’s mouth alerted Jim to his impending orgasm. 

That was when Jim almost entirely pulled off him, his tongue following a single vein up the side of his lover’s cock. Jim heard Freddie sigh in bliss which made Jim snort in amusement. He traced Freddie’s slit with the tip of his tongue and Freddie keened, his hands finally finding their way to Jim’s hair as he begged Jim for more, “Jim please! God damn it, I mean it darling, I-I need…I need more.”

Jim nodded and once again took Freddie in to the back of his throat, but this time he started to hum gently, knowing how much Freddie liked when he did that. Freddie’s lips parted in a heavy gasp as he chanced a glance down at the man between his legs and that was all it took. Freddie cried out harshly as he came down Jim’s throat, who quickly swallowed all of his cum before pulling off completely. 

Freddie lay there panting as Jim sat up and reached for a tissue to clean Freddie off with. His lover didn’t move an inch as Jim settled in beside him after removing his own clothes except for his underwear. Freddie immediately turned over, already expecting Jim to wish for him to do the same for him but Jim quickly put his arms around Freddie and rested his chin on Freddie’s shoulder. 

“Relax, Freddie. That’s enough for tonight, wouldn’t you agree?” He scoffed, “Or should I say this morning.” 

Freddie snorted and a sleepy smile spread across his face as he relaxed in Jim’s arms, “you plan to cuddle with me now?” Jim nodded and it was Freddie’s turn to scoff at him. 

“You’ll be able to focus, then?” Freddie asked as he reached down and squeezed Jim’s half-hard cock through his boxers, “with this on your mind?”

Jim huffed as Freddie’s skilled fingers drew a needy moan from him, “too tired. Maybe in the morning, Freddie.”

Instead of teasing him further, Freddie dropped the subject and instead wrapped his arms around Jim, “thank you, my darling,” he smiled against Jim’s skin as he kissed his lover’s neck, “thank you for everything.”

“No need to thank me,” Jim’s voice sounded faint to his own ears as he was slowly beginning to drift off to sleep, “I’m sorry, Freddie. I’m still so sorry I missed your birthday…”

“Shh, hush my Jim,” Freddie quieted him and carded his fingers through Jim’s hair as he heard his lover begin to snore, “you’ve more than made up for it.”


End file.
